Archive for the 'Momma's Smoke'n Crack' Category

Some days you just have to laugh

Friday, June 19th, 2009

Mare enters my room, sobbing. I am sorting out the oil bill, a sick cat, and waiting for callbacks from Eden’s doctors. They’ve been in the toy room most of the day watching movies.
And I’ve got itchy bites all over myself.
“Renny hurt my feelings,” Mare weeps. “She asked me to do something […]

The worst night ever

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

I am nursing Eden on the couch in the kitchen when she bites me. Hard.
I yowl and right at that precise moment remember the custard for the strawberry ice cream is on the stove. I stand up to rescue the custard and instead send a glassful of ice water in a wide fan […]

Percocet, meet Mommy Guilt

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Percocet gives me funky dreams.
Like this one:
There is a knock at the door. I open it, and the hospital pediatrician is there. The one who didn’t approve of me. She is flanked by scowling nurses in their scrubs.
“You took home the wrong baby!!” they screech.
Oh, I say. Really?
In response to […]

The family that saves the environment together …

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

The children’s school — Happy Progressive Smiles — has sent home a sheet on which we are to pledge our commitment to some act to help the environment in honor of Earth Day.
I wanted to count saving the hospital peri bottle from the landfill by bringing it home for the girls to use in the […]

Way to have Momma’s back, Schmoopy

Monday, April 20th, 2009

Eden’s lack of weight gain and her bililrubin levels have us seeing a pediatrician every day. It’s the holiday weekend and our doc is not on call. I’m sleep deprived, swimming in mother’s-milk tea (blech!) and generally irritated at the world. So it’s not a good time to be meeting new […]

… and never take anything too seriously

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

I woke up this morning to the sounds of Cute Husband singing “Dead mouse with no head/dead/no head” to our daughters. Then the smell of Lysol across the living room carpet.
Way to go Moonlight.
And then my debit card was declined. Because I miscalculated the direct-deposit date. It’s tonight at midnight.
D’oh!
Thank […]

Just lower the ole standards

Monday, April 6th, 2009

I have passed my non-stress test with flying colors. Mare and Ren are alseep in their own bed with their arms around each other. I got a local brick-oven pizza for dinner, and Cute Husband and I are parked on the couch to eat it in front of some nice crappy TV.
It hits […]

Meet Hermie — Small, innocent, and clad in a red away-team shirt

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

I resisted for a week. First I said, “I’m not sure where we would put the tank.”
Then I said, “What about the cats?”
Last I said, “Myamah-nahah … we’llseestopasking.”
Then maybe I dropped an e-mail suggesting to Mare’s teachers that if absolutely no one else could be found, if it were down to the last possible […]

Vinaigrettes, Run Amok With Leprechauns

Monday, March 16th, 2009

I honestly have no idea how things got so out of control.
It started with this cute idea I had for surviving the stretch from January to April — or, as I like to call it, the great boil on the rear-end of the lunar calendar.
I survived by celebrating. Over-celebrating. Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s […]

And then the Universe chucks me one …

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

An actual text from Sunbeam:
Moonlight just dropped a live mouse in front of me. I do not like mice for presents!!
DaMomma’s Reply:
Aw! Dinner! Fresh! Such a good boy! He loves him some Sunbeam!
Sunbeam:
Ya. And he is still playing with it. I am hiding with the door shut in […]