Mare was insomnnaic until midnight or so. I finally got her to sleep by putting her next to me and rubbing her back. That was when the baby woke up. She was perfectly happy as long as someone was playing with her, but if you dared to stop she screeched hysterically. We tried sitting her between us and ignoring her, but it’s so hard to ignore a person who is sad, particularly when her expression of sadness involves stabbing fingernails into your eyeballs.
So then I cried. And Cute Husband swore, and that woke up the other kids, and then we yelled at them, and then they all cried. And then he took the Small Beastly One downstairs and watched television with her and I got the other two to sleep in our bed and then he finally got the baby down and grabbed himself the last remaining five-inch strip of mattress (no blanket) and I forbade him to bitch about it.
At about 5:30 a.m., Ren peed.
So we were all up (and two of us were wet — and given that one of us was covered in urine that was not her own I thought it was poor manners for the other one to be weeping about it.)
I managed breakfast, got everyone out the door with lunches, mittens, hats, backpacks, library books (Mare), Barbies (Ren), and extra strength Tylenol for the road (me).
The windshield wipers didn’t work.
It had snowed in the night.
It was the first day of school after break.
I was low on gas.
I got everyone dropped off, tucked Eden back down for a nap, considered cleaning and decided to watch the Daily Show instead. Then I braved the e-mail inbox, seriously wished I hadn’t, and ate a piece of chocolate cake.
I found out that my windshield wiper motor is REALLY special. This motor, apparently? It sings in six languages and will complete your tax return as you commute.
Oh, no? It doesn’t do that? All it does is freaking move a wiper blade across a 5-foot span of glass? Then why does it cost more than I make in a week??
Whatever.
The worst part about days like this is the spiral. It’s like a bad fall — you think you have it, you throw your weight, you try to catch your balance … and then BOOM. You’re down. Life sucks. There are little shrimp tails in the corner of the kitchen floor and you don’t even give a shit.
I know this gets better, I thought to myself. This always gets better. I just have to remember what I do to get out of it.
Answer?
I got new tub toys. Our old tub toys had been around since Mare was a toddler. (Homer? STILL THERE.) They were in a pile in a plastic bin that had layers of slimy black ick at the bottom. None of the pieces made sense any more. I pitched most of them (all Homer ever did was piss us off, anyway), scrubbed the bin, and got some new things.
It was pretty, it was shiny and tidy and organized, and it made me want to bathe the kids.
Then I cleaned the bathroom to make it all match. Once I had done that, I wanted the bedrooms to match, too. Of course the kitchen. I had beef stew going before long, and by bedtime there was a fresh table cloth and the floor was swept. Eden was doing the Terminator scooch across it.
At 7:00, I tubbed the Littles. Eden laughed and splashed, and I soaped up all her wrinkles and dimples and scrubbed her fuzzy head. Ren demonstrated how to pour water down herself, and we all experimented with the new toys.
My bed sheets were dry and fresh and in the spirit of charity, I let Ren back in. (First I made her hit the john.) We had our nightly meeting while Mare read to herself downstairs.
“How’s school?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s good,” she smiled. “I love my teachers. ” She climbed into my arms and I stroked her back. She smelled like oatmeal shampoo.
“Was it fun tubbing with Sister?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “Did you see how she trusted me and wasn’t afraid of the tub because I was there?”
She sounds just like Mare used to.
Downstairs, I can hear the shower starting. After she showers, Mare will read Harry Potter to herself for another hour before she goes to bed.
Life moves on, every single day, even the ones that suck. And sometimes, getting one foot in front of the other means picking one thing to fix and letting it inspire you. Even if it’s only a bunch of tub toys.
Amazing isn’t it?
All’s well that ends well!
Just curious….what swear words does a Marine CH use in a situation such as that????….sounds like our approach to all the sucky things we experience…our mantra: look for the good in every bad. So far, that’s gotten us through it all.
Good for you for turning it around…god that’s so hard to do. We’ve had many a night with all three children going to bed crying and me feeling like an absolute shit.
What a wonderful gift you give all your readers by sharing your “days that suck” so openly – I think it helps all of us feel a little bit better about sucky days.
My daughter peed in my bed last night too… and cried.
I love this post so much
Wonderful!
I have had those days (and nights, urine included) and have come out of them in a very similar way.
What is it about midwinter tub toy overhaul? I bleached all the black slime out of all the duckies (and banished them from the tub so more wouldn’t be able to grow inside) and got a new toy caddy (aka shower caddy) with HOLES in the bottom to let the water drain out and hopefully lessen the slime factor. I assure you, I am not inclined to do such things, but I was suddenly compelled last weekend. And yes, once again, thanks for normalizing Days From Hell.
Just like the bad/sucky events can snowball, so can the good ones. And that can make all the difference. Great post, thanks again!
Homer is gone forever? NOOOO!!!!
Well, okay, that may have been some overstating there. Good post!
The end of your day sounds much better than the beginning. My boys could use some new tub toys too.
Amen. As always, thank you.
Its the little things, eh?
I sometimes wonder, if I had a blog, would I be more incentivized to find happy endings to my crap days? Would it afford me the perspective I sometimes lack but you seem to have in abundance?
Our 4YO was crying for hours last night because ‘her butt hurt.’ We can find nothing wrong with said butt; and it was magically better this morning. Hoping for the happy ending and a good night’s sleep. Hang in there, January just stinks sometimes.
I seriously miss the tub toys. You just reminded me of them, black slime and all.
(my kids are 12 and 10)
Thank you! I needed that today.
Great post
It’s getting the first footstep, isn’t it?
As always, thank you. It’s nice to have a friendly reminder that a) crappy days just happen, so get over it, and b) you don’t have to be an annoyingly chirpy person to dig your way out of the hole!
I’m so relieved our tub toys are not the only black icky ones! Great post; thanks for the laugh!
Some days are just ROTTEN! Monday, the 4th of January, my husband shows up early for work, you know, to start the new year off on the right foot, only to be LAID OFF an hour later…no severance package, no nothing. Happy fricking new year!
I have been working out really, really hard for over a year, with some pretty rotten in and out shoulder pain…so, since I realize our insurance will be over the end of the month, make a drs appt to see the orthopedic. Only for him to tell me I have nerve damage in both shoulders and a possible herniated disk in my neck…oh, and to take ibuprofen 3 times a day and to go start physical therapy. I cried on and off all day…feeling sorry for my husband who tries so hard, feeling sorry for myself, worrying that my $15 co-pays, 3x a week could go to feeding our kids or putting gas in the cars while my husband is searching for a new job. Uugh…very scary times.
Silver Lining? I got home, threw both kids in the big tub with me and played for about an hour, we piled into bed and put Sleeping Beauty on, and were all passed out by 8:30…it was a beautiful thing
)
Here’s to more better days than crappy ones!!!
Christine here are the magic words to make you feel better COBRA SUBSIDY. Thanks to the stimulus funding your healthcare premium will actually be reasonable while hubby is unemployed. It is currently saving us over $800 a month. Of course you’ll still have copays…but if it makes you feel better we have a $4,000 family deductible until husband gets a new job so I have forbidden everyone from getting sick.
Con, I was about to say the same thing about Cobra. Christine, I am sorry to hear about the husband’s job. What a crummy thing to do to a family. I was thinking that it would probably have been better for them to have told him before Christmas, so you could spend less or something. But then, it would have ruined the holidays! I hope the shoulder pain goes away, and the hubby gets an even better job!
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Oh, and great post, Liz!
You have a wonderful knack for making the best of things!
Comforting to know there are lots more people out there having the week I am having!!!!!!!
Cant wait for it to get better! Maybe… Just maybe TONIGHT… when the teenager goes off to her fathers for the weekend…yeah…bliss….
Amen to that! Some days, as long as I am able to make up all the beds in the house, I feel I’ve accomplished something, and I can go to bed at peace with my messy but happy home.
Love your blog. Long time reader, first time responding!
I really liked that post. We’ve had a week like that around here- it’s cold and been cold for a long time, I’ve had a cold (to keep in the spirit, I guess) and everything’s coming out “grump”. It’s a good reminder to look for one thing you can manage and build on it. Thank you.
Oh… oh, I’ve been there too. My coping mechanisms involve cleaning out the underwear drawers or silverware drawer or deciding suddenly that we MUST get a new toothbrush holder! The fate of modern civilization depends on it.
Then, next thing you know, I’ve hopped on Amazon and we have 4 packages scheduled to ship, the contents of which include said toothbrush holder, a workout DVD, a teething toy for the baby, and motrin.
Coupled with the clean drawers, somehow… somehow it makes me feel better.
Hugs to you and yours. It’s always something, isn’t it? It’s finding the little things, (like tub toys or weird amazon shopping sprees), that make it ok.