This is the question I am asking myself.
That, and “Why is my pillow sopping wet?”
The title of this post was supposed to be,
“The Best Darn Day of Ren’s Whole Darn Life” — and it was to be accompanied by pictures.
Our family took a little trip to Loon Mountain this weekend, which ended up being more of a blogging break than I intended because in the packing frenzy I managed to leave my laptop behind. For Cute Husband, this was sort of the equivalent of my accidentally forgetting to bring along my hooker. Her pimp. And their crack dealer.
He was really pleased.
The packing frenzy was such a freaking frenzy, in fact, that I hired Sunbeam’s sister (Code Name: Thunderbolt) to help me corral the girls and get all that crap in the Looser Cruiser. The resultant tornado was so destructive that as I was writing the check I asked Thunderbolt if I threw in some extra whether she would clean the house while we were gone.
Ever done that? No? MY GOD try it.
When we opened the door after our long weekend and the house smelled luciously of Murphy’s Oil and spent vaccum engine I pretty much wanted to lie down right there and expire because I had reached the pinnacle of existance.
But wait, back up. Before we opened that door we had to walk up the walkway. There were fifteen inches of snow making that more than a little challenging. That was nothing compared to the driveway whose pillowy visage immediately suggested to me that the man we had hired to plow it forgot himself and is selling slushies on a beach in Key West.
We had gotten to the house after a five hour drive through blizard conditions. So I did what any rational-minded lunatic would do after suffering five hour’s close confinement with three Christmas-hyper children: I stalked plows.
Where did I stalk them? — Hold on, ’cause this is clever. I stalked them at the gas station. I stood there with a checkbook and said, “Hey … want to get me out of a spot?”
Third guy said yes and he didn’t even take my money.
Okay, but before we got to that point we had dropped of Cute Husband at The Office, where he had left his car Friday night. The Office plow man clearly also was a fan of slushies as the Crappy Honda was stranded on a veritable ice floe.
“Don’t sweat it,” I said, as we pulled up. “Let’s go home and I’ll drive you to work in the morning.”
“I’ll just be a minute,” he said, slamming the car door and making his way across the tundra that was that parking lot.
About five minutes later, a terrific roar and screeching of tires and the Crappy Honda was barreling toward me, shedding ice like the Space Shuttle during launch. It was briefly airborne, and then he landed, hard, on the street, with a wave and a “See you at home!”
I got home before he did, of course, because — hey– four wheel drive. So we made it home to the house Thunderbolt had made so sweet. I found the laptop waiting for me and turned it on just so I could be comforted by its warm glow.
That was when I couldn’t find the freaking battery charger. Not for the computer, but for the camera.
Because that’s where the story of The Best Darn Day of Ren’s Whole Life waits for me to upload it so I can tell you all about it.
For now, just one image, saved to my phone:
As for my pillow? — It’s wet because Ren got here before I did and she has a new affinity for cooling cloths on her brow.
Wonderful post! Thanks for giving me something fun to read this morning. I am sitting in the temporary bliss of 7:30 am – baby nursed and put back to bed, 2 and 4 year olds still asleep and my CH also still in bed. Hope you find the camera charger and I will hire someone to clean the house from now one while we are gone. Can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.
Best part? the Minnie Pearl price tag hanging off the pink goggles! …and why do I get the feeling that she’s like an energy volcano in this picture? Just waiting to erupt on the world….well, you’ve got the anticipation up at the M-J house, T on his laptop & me on my Mac, coffee in hand….waiting for the best day ever
As for the charger? look in the most organized, cleaned up place in the world, as usually happens to me, sitting right in front of my desperately searching self!
Oh my word, I can’t wait to read that post. (We might take our 4 year old for the first time this year). And yes, the price tag… is… priceless.
And CH with the honda? I married that guy too. Trapsing all over high heaven in our very own minivan.
Ah, she found her speed high on the slopes! Those are the cutest little cheeks I ever saw peeking out of snow goggles.
That is an awesome picture. Can’t wait to hear and see the rest of the story.
And re: the charger. Look in the drawer. You know, the drawer you put it in so you could ALWAYS find it when you need it. But first blame CH and your oldest child for moving it because you know YOU couldn’t have misplaced it. *sigh*
Oh! Hurry!!!!!!! im in desperate need of something exciting and hilarious to read!!!!!!
HAHA!! Great post, Liz. Can’t wait to hear about Ren on skis!
Have I mentioned how WONDERFUL it is to live in the Willamette Valley? We have green grass right now, and dandelions growing. That’s right, dandelions in December. And the snow is about a 1 hour drive away, up in the mountains, where it belongs.
Priceless pic! And there is more?!!! Can’t wait to read the post! Love the price tag on the goggles and the “I am right where I want to be” look on her face!
You camera charger must be hanging out with my camera charger! Love the pic. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
That is the cutest picture!
Me? As I type this, it’s 39 degrees (celcius) outside, we have two air conditioners running and its only just keeping out tilty *walled* two storey house cooler than outside. Cute Fiance is outside washing the windows (he’s a mad-man) and his daughter is splashing in the soapy water to keep cool.
23 years old and I’ve never seen snow… I need to travel more!
D’awe!!! I love her!
Hurry, hurry! I’m dying of anticipation! Oh, and look in the camera bag, in some obscure pocket. That’s where my charger tends to live…
What a cutie! ROTFL @ her cloths to brow. Such a necessity! Coming home to a clean house? AWESOME!!