The car broke down.
Mare was at ballet, which is how Ren, Eden and I ended up at the dealership, just us three, for about five hours. Mare was stranded until I got Zoe’s mother to go get her and take her home. So that was good. The rental company was out of mini-vans. I called everyone I knew to see about a ride and came up with squat.
The damage to the car is so bad it might be wiser to just buy a new one.
So there I was, hyperventilating, trying not to throw up, wanting out of there, feeling guilty (it’s not even my fault, but when dollar signs go by, I feel guilty).
“Sheesh, it’s not enough you have to drive a mini-van, but it has to cost you that kind of money, too?” Emily said when I called her. It was the only laugh of the day.
I cried twice. Renny kept handing me nickles and saying, “See, Momma! More money! Can we get a new car and go home, now?”
And you know, I felt so sorry for myself about the damage to the car, so weepy I-have-a-sick-baby-and-work-two-jobs-and-now-this sorry for myself … when the dealer said,
“Hey … have you even given that kid lunch?”
“No,” I said. “She’s had Cheezits and chips.”
“Great kid,” he said. “Really, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a kid behave that well for that long.”
Ren was playing quietly with crappy waiting room toys in the corner. And he was right, she hadn’t melted down once. She was patient every time I asked her to be patient and she left me alone when I needed to, you know, fight the urge to scream.
So of course, my first thought was, “See, you little shit, you totally can control yourself when you choose to.”
And my second thought was, “Wow, for the last five hours, she chose to. For my sake. What a great kid.”
The engine was a fire risk, and we were lucky it didn’t happen. For a flickering second I imagined what would have happened if it had, with three kids strapped in the back.
Finally, Momma Sunshine rescued me. Sunbeam is away cheating on me with another family (they’re taking her to tha Bahamas. I’d cheat for a trip to the Bahamas, too.). Anyway, conveniently, that leaves her car with its car seats hanging out in her driveway, unused. I’m pretty sure her family could use the extra car, but when I explained the situation, Momma Sunshine said they’d make do.
So I’ll be driving the Beamer while I try and sort out this mess.
I think you are guaranteed a certain amount of crap in every lifetime, no choices, no exceptions. We all feel we are especially burdened at various times, but most of us just aren’t. Life is hard. The variables are actually the good stuff — the friends, the outlook, the choices.
When we got home, I told Ren she could have anything she wanted. I told her I forgave her for the unauthorized gummy bear she ate this morning and that her actions in the six hours since have obliterated all bad feeling.
She chose popscicles. One for each hand, in front of some Dora, surrounded by her own toys. She sighed happily, glad to be out of that miserable little lounge. She was completely over the entire experience.
You know, at the end of the day, that may just be paradise.
Things will be better tommorrow!!!!
That Ren, she’s a keeper. Along with the rest of your crew.
So. Looking at that Wee Sack of Awesome and Powerful that you created and trained, how does that feel?
=)
Best of luck with car issues.
You know, Jess, I gotta tell you: Ren’s my greatest accomplishment. She’s not an asshole. And she could be.
And it was really nice to reward her today and to see her so proud of herself.
No matter how bad it is, you always seem to be able to make lemons out of lemonade. You’re awesome.
How do you look on the bright side like that? Also? I can only dream that one day my nearly 5-year-old son could behave himself for that long in a situation like that. Sigh.
@Elizabeth LOL! That’s sort of what I thought. Reading your blog, it looks like you have managed to take a really strong personality and teach her control without crushing her, or making her bitter and (even more) rebellious. There aren’t enough words for the win there. Seriously. Incredibly impressive. Your Ren posts always leave me a little in awe of what parenting really means. I can’t imagine making some of those decisions on the fly and in the moment.
Hell, I can’t even keep the dogs off the couch…
When ya gonna do a how to? =)
Did you ever take, or find useful, parenting classes? Or did you just hit the parent/role model lottery (like my partner, and your kids, did) and build on what your folks choices?
Do you think it knew you referred to it as the Loser Cruiser to all of cyberspace?
Had a somewhat similar experience with my version of Ren at her 4 year check up today. Really was proud of her for a flashing moment. Due to other stuff I was stressed and feeling put upon, until she behaved/excelled. Then later I called a friend who is now for all practical purposes a single dad of two. His wife, my friend, has brain damage and can’t live with them anymore. Oh and his job is disappearing next month. Yes my life has some serious stress fractures but really, how can I not be grateful for what I have.
Good luck with the car!
wow. i am so sorry liz… hopefully the car issues will be sorted out soon. i have to wonder though and kind of agree with Melissa that maybe the minivan caught on to you calling it Loser Cruiser …
anyway, did I ever tell you that I love Ren?
Your posts about her make me crack up all the time.
hang in there. hope all works itself out soon.
Dear Liz,
Wow. How frightening, and terrible, and, well, yeah- you bring out the paradise in the situation, too.
I hope that cars are found and children are celebrated and that YOU get some sleep and some treats. Maybe a gin and tonic in one hand and a manicurist looking at the other one?
Gratitude works every day, but sometimes the adult version of Ren’s treat carries us through the ugly parts of paradise…… Thank God you are safe.
hang in there,
Margaret
I’m going to disagree with you on ONE point.
“Life is hard.” No, life is simple.
The stuff that makes up your life can be hard to manage. The way that you always seem to see the good in the stuff that makes up your trials and tribulations are what make your life blessed. Why, just look at Ren. What an awesome little person you have there. She’s going to rule the world someday. Mare is one of my favorite people that I haven’t met. Eden will be just as spectacular a person as her sisters. These 3 girls have the best parents they could ask for.
Good luck with the car-stuff. I KNOW that you’ll figure it out.
The variables are actually the good stuff — the friends, the outlook, the choices
Oh no. I’m so sorry about both cars. Good job Ren, and Liz, I hope it gets better fast. I’ve been there, so I know it feels like it never will and the world is out to get you. I hope the kids keep smiling to make it easier until the bad stuff is over.
Oh. My. God.
Really, could the universe just cut you some slack?
(Of course, my second thought is, hey, you’re a famous blog writer! Minivan companies should be lining up to let you borrow their newest model and do a review!!)
Your tweet was short, but I’m assuming Cute Husband is ok, right?
Gosh, I am sorry you guys are going through the car drama. Besides health issues (which you deserve a 5 year break from), car issues are the worst. Feeling stranded with kids is so frightening–especially with a baby. I read it and flashed back to that post you had quite a while back when that strange man helped you when you broke down with Ren and Mare. THAT one scared the crap out of me! Thank goodness for the goodness of Sunbeam; I am so glad you have her and her wonderful daughter in your lives.
I was not surprised that Ren was so good at the dealership; she knew you were NOT in the mood for any monkeydidoes, so she just opted for a different day for WORLD DOMINATION!
I agree totally with the other reader who said that you should be hounded by car companies right now to both help you and help them reach more women.
Here’s what I know:
Okay, so Chevrolet recently gave a bunch of mom bloggers a Chevrolet Traverse to test out and blog about for like six weeks. They had to give it back at the end, but wouldn’t that like totally make this whole problem a little lighter?
It’s not just Chevy either — Ford has done it (for a shorter period) with the Ford Flex. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a Saturn Vue, a Honda Odyssey or any other family-friendly vehicle.
Car companies are dying for a mom to give her very honest two cents about their products, and I think they should all be chomping at the bit to help you out now.
I hope Chevrolet, Ford, Honda and Saturn caught all that with their Google Alerts — DaMomma is the mom for you!
I am in awe of you as a mom. And of Ren for choosing the control. Go Ren.
And now, of course, you have history you can *remind her of* at times when you really need her to remember and use that control.
And I want to echo Sarah and say that it would be awesome if Chevrolet, Ford, Honda or Saturn wanted to have your opinions on their vehicles. I remember someone saying that car brochures never gave the really important info – like if you can fit two car seats and an adult bottom across the back seat.
So, just to add to the Google search, Chevrolet, Ford, Honda, Saturn? Are you listening?!
I have stood next to my mini van and openly cried in front of the mechanic. Poor guy, didn’t know what to do. Or say. Doesn’t he have a wife? Anyway, my husband was leaving for the airport in 20 minutes. He would be in France for 8 days. And my van wouldn’t start. The doors wouldnt roll open. He said something about calling Honda in the morning. I panicked. SO, I feel your pain. You did really good today Elizabeth! And that Ren, what a peach!
You guys are adorable. Ford. Nissan. GM. Toyota.
Jesse– I never took parenting classes. Thanks for the compliments, it makes my day. The ever-wise Miss Karin said once that all of our parenting, good and bad, is a reaction to the way we were parented, good and bad. I think I have been very concious about that, paying attention to what I wanted to pass on and what I didn’t.
Ugh! Any time spent at the car dealership is painful. Unexpected long waits with small children even more so. Bravo to Ren – she never ceases to amaze us (your loving readers). If the choice is to fix the car or sell, I guess the question is Would you ever trust it again? That’s what I’ve asked myself any time a car has broken down on me. I’ve driven a Kia mini van for almost 3 years now, and as a former car snob, I have to say I LOVE it (and I would never bring the wrath of the mini van gods upon me by calling it anything derogatory LOL) – it was in my price range (purchased a month before child number 2, so this range was CHEAP) and had everything I needed. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!
Hope CH is okay – and your friend Emily’s comment was priceless! I got a great laugh out of it.
I am SO glad the LC didn’t burst into flames on you. I had that happen a couple years ago but thankfully my son wasn’t with me. I was able to laugh about it after the hot firefighters arrived but not until I had cried about it first!
Just remember: If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And all the other cliches people toss around when it hits the fan. We’re all rootin’ for you.
And, yay Ren!
so i just read on twitter about you playing dylan in my car!! thats it. payback will be the entire soundtrack of barbie and the diamond castle downloaded into your ipod under fake song names.
DAYum! They have INTERNET IN THE CARRIBEAN???
I know you are not her keeper, but what happened to The Food Whore’s website? I miss her so, sniff, sniff. Thank goodness I still have you!
Isn’t Ren just the sweetest kid on earth!
It’s funny how kids know how to drive you crazy at the most inopportune times, but also sense when it would be a short drive over a steep cliff and there’s no coming back so they turn on the sweet button.