Much of what the children say to me these days gets all garbled like snow on an old television screen and I have to kind of prick my ears up like antennae to get the signal through.
And sometimes, even then, it’s not getting through.
“Wah,” Eden says. I am struggling to get her skinny chicken legs into a onesie. Milk is leaking, I am uncomfortable, the phone is ringing.
“WAH,” she says.
Mare is talking to me.
“… please? Just one?”
“Um. NO,” I say. I have no idea what she’s asking me for, but I can’t deal right this second and no is safe and she leaves and that’s good and now I’m still wrangling this irritated chicken.
“WAH!” Eden says.
“Momma?” It’s Ren.
“Yeah, Babe?”
A few long seconds pass and she’s staring at me and I adjust the atenna and dig into my memory and it’s in there.
“Tootsie Rolls?” I ask. “You want some? Yes. Fine,”
“YAY!” Ren says. She skips out the door and that’s when I notice Mare standing in the doorway. They clasp hands and cackle.
“What?” I ask.
“I KNEW IT!!” Mare says.
“IT WORKED SISSY!!”
“What? What worked?” I ask.
“Ren! I sent Ren in to ask you! She always knows just how to ask so people give her stuff!”
That’s, like sixteen kindsa wrong. I need to fix that.
After several hours of wondering, I open the cheese drawer in the fridge and get the answer to where the freaking sponge went.
I can’t remember any of their names any more. It’s like, “Oh, hey, you … that one. I’ve forgotten your name, and I’m super-sorry about that. Could you grab me a diaper? And are you old enough to reach the fizzy water? No? That’s not you? Oh, whatever, hand me the diaper and be on your way. Oh, and ask the other one about the fizzy water, would you?”
“You parked too close!”
– The man mouthing this to me through the closed window of the mini-van is in his late sixties, standing behind his Mercedes convertible, glaring at me. It is the third time he has said it, and I have pretended not to understand.
Even though I know perfectly well what he is saying.
On a full night’s sleep, free of ache and anxiety, I would not get dragged into this. I would just stare blankly and drive away. But today, I roll the window down.
“You parked too close,” he says in a tone of deeply satisfied annoyance.
“That’s because you’re over the line,” I say.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yeah, y’are.” I close the window. He’s mad and he starts his car and I start mine and I pull the Looser Cruiser cleanly out of the spot — because, folks, don’t mess with a chick who drives a mini-van — and he is looking over his shoulder to pull out and cut me off and BAM!! — He hits the car in front of him.
Wrong gear.
“MOMMA!!” Mare says.
“I KNOW!!” I say.
Eden wakes up almost every hour. I feed faithfully. At the clothing store yesterday the attendant assumed Eden was a preemie.
So I feed and I try not to worry.
She’s finally learning to nurse lying down. I stroke her hand and she squeezes mine and these gigantic eyes peer up at me and blink slowly. And that gets through the fog, like a light sweeping a beach.
Can you believe our Eden turned one today? The time flies.
thanks for the insight on what it might be like for me with three one day! You always have me laughing out loud! I got the is she a preemie question with my first (who was not a preemie) and now she is an 8 year old string bean
My second was a total chubster at first and is now in the 3% for weight as was the 8 y/o…I know it’s scary and I’m not exactly in the position you’re in (although the 8y/0 did get to have that fun billi blanket for a while) but it does all work out in the end!!! You are such a great mama…you’re the best mama Eden could have imagined!
So where’s the sponge? I still can’t figure it out. I guess as long as they weren’t used to clean the bathroom, you’re good.
I can’t remember their names most of the time either-especially since I also teach 100 other kids when I’m not at home. So generally, I just yell random names until it gets their attention–either because I finally said there name or they are annoyed that I’m giving them a new name. My 2 1/2 year old still wakes up as if he were a newborn. I tell the boy he’s too old to be doing the every two hour wake up call, but it ain’t sinking in yet.
You’re doing great despite the mind-warping sleep deprivation/leaky uncomfortable boobs. Because really, how many people can raise such intelligent little girls and write so beautifully with all that going on?.
Is it wrong that I find it hilarious that the grouchy man hit the other car?
Ha that’s called “Car-ma” Serves him right the bastid!
Eden is perfect in every way xxoo
Liz, I know the weight is a scary thing. I had 2 preemies (33 weeks and 29 weeks) I was told they would be failure to thrive (both had parts of their intestines removed and have short gut syndrome -what can I say, we’re fun!) and we’re tiny little chickens for the first 6 months…. and then, they grew and they haven’t stopped since. My 33 weeker just turned 7 and is over 70 lbs and the tallest boy in his class, and 29 weeker is a beautiful, sassy 2 year old who just passed 30 lbs. Failure to thrive, my ass! Keep up the great mothering with Eden, she WILL grow, of course you already know this, but it’s easy to lose sight of it when you are sleep deprived. We are all behind you!!!
Thank you all for your support. Eden has just now gained her birthweight back, plus one ounce. She is almost seven weeks old. They want newborns to gain it back by two weeks, so it is certainly disconcerting. But she is thriving in every other way, and we do regular weight checks and appointments with Dr. Button and we’re now doing other testing to rule out serious problems. I nurse lots and we wait and see.
Happy birthday to your Eden, Bryant & Heather. And congratulations on one year. It really is such a mile stone no matter how many times you do it.
I fixed the wording on the post to make it clearer where the sponge was. And it WAS the kitchen sponge.
When my 3rd girl was born (my smallest, weighing 5lb 15oz) for months people – especially tacky strangers at stores, would ask if she was a preemie. Now, she’s 2 and very tall, but still, very skinny, and people still say “she’s so petite” like that’s a problem. It gets easier to lug around those 3 girls – even when they are all whining and crying! Hang in there!
The sponge thing is so something I would have done and I only have one kid.
I love the man hitting the car!
Aw Liz, don’t feel bad about the preemie thing. My youngest (born on March 27th) was 9lb 4oz at birth and has stayed in the 95th % for weight — and yet some moron at the pizza place said, “Omg, she’s so TINY. Was she a preemie?” I just…stared at her. What can you do? People will say stupid things. People also have no idea what a perfectly normal baby looks like. Your Eden will catch up and she doesn’t look at bit like a preemie. She looks like a healthy, beautiful baby that hasn’t quite bloomed into her full fluffiness yet.
Mine was small and early, so I don’t mind when people comment on her size.
What bothers me is when I get asked if I’m her grandma. . .
It’s been almost 3 years, and I still can’t get their names straight sometimes.
I’m sending lots of fattening up thoughts to Eden! All of my kids were on the other end of the spectrum and I had to stand my ground on the fact that my middle, and biggest girl, was not overweight with her pedi, who kept pointing out she was off the charts. She was off the charts for height and weight since birth, as was my first, so I knew he had it wrong. They catch up, and then you can’t remember how much worried over it. Hang in there Liz, it will get easier-ish soon!
I love it that the old grouch hit the car. I wish some of the grouchy old people I’ve had to deal with would get such instant karma.
My #3 just turned one and had to have some blood tests because she is still very small (and my other 2 children were bigger than she is now by the time they were 4 months old). She’s still only 17 lbs at 12 months. Her blood tests came back fine though, so hopefully she is just petite.
Eden is on the growth upswing now…thinking positive thoughts that she’ll continue.
My “children” are 27 and 25, and I still do the sponge thing. I have no excuse except that I’m staring 50 in the eye…
And yes, I laughed out loud at the grouchy old guy. I know. I’m a terrible person. I don’t care. It was hilarious.
We made the mistake of naming our sons with names beginning with the same letter, so they were rarely called by their correct name. I don’t think it has messed them up too much.
The Niblet is now 9 months old and I’m still saying “That other kid” when I can’t recall the 15 year old’s name. As in “We need to tell….that other kid…..to mow the yard. NICK. Yes, Nick needs to mow the yard.” Sad.
The Husband used both dogs’ names before he called the baby by the right one the other day. And he also put the peanut butter in the fridge after he was done with it. We don’t keep it in the fridge. I checked the cupboard for the jelly just in case.
And about two weeks ago I put my cell phone in the peanut butter cupboard and had to call it because I couldn’t find it. I heard it ring and thought it was on the counter but no, it was IN THE FREAKING CUPBOARD.
I hope you feel better knowing that brain drain invaded our house with only 2 kids (spaced 14 years apart) AND it defied all genetic history and attacked a male, not just the female who gave birth. What makes it even more scary is that I’m 34 and he’s 36 so we can’t blame our age.
Ren and Mary crack me up. And don’t worry about the sponge. In my childless days, I do similar stuff for no particular reason that I can identify. At least you found it.
That poor, grumpy old man should have been worrying about himself. (I really feel sorry for people like that.)
I’m glad to hear Eden has gained her weight back. My heart says she will be fine, but my head still worries for you guys. I’m glad things are moving in the right direction. Perhaps she’s just stating from an early age that she’s not going to follow anyone’s timetable but her own?
And that gets through the fog, like a light sweeping a beach.
That’s beautiful.