We have ruled out dairy and wheat as culprits. I am down to a diet of Cheerios and bagels, and unseasoned proteins and vegetables. No fruit. I stopped taking Tylenol for post-surgical pain and headaches. I can’t take anything else.
I am not sleeping much. I am worrying lots. And then feeling bad about myself for worrying about things I can’t fix.
No coffee.
And then in a super-genius move I managed to double-pay the mortgage. That’s right, folks, I sent the payment, forgot I sent it, sent it again.
The bank, of course, cashed both.
And now we are overdrawn. And I am having a complete meltdown on the phone with Cute Husband.
“Everything hurts. I am so tired. I can’t eat anything I want and am going to get fat eating cake and bagels. And oh, lucky me, the finances are screwed up again and the house is a pit and somehow we are behind on laundry and I get to spend my whole life fixing that and it never gets better and this headache is un-freaking believable.”
“How about some tea?”
“I don’t really feel I have the energy to leave this bed to make some,” I say in the saddest, near-death, cue-the-violin voice.
“You know what I hear helps? — Ginger.”
Here streams a series of obscene invectives out of my mouth and in the general direction of the man I have professed to love for all eternity.
“Good,” he says. “Just wanted to be sure there was some fight left in ya. You were scaring me there.”
Oh, you poor thing.
That was hilarious, but, still, you poor thing.
If it helps, I knew a woman who found herself in the very same position. For as long as she was breast feeding, she couldn’t eat anything that had even the remotest acquaintance with flavor. No onions, no garlic, nothing acidic. She was in hell, essentially. However, she also said that once those measures were taken, her baby was like a completely different baby. Completely mellow and happy, all the time. No more screaming in misery.
It’ll turn out to be worth it, and just like before, you’ll more or less forget the miserable parts. =)
Best of luck to you all.
Hi Liz, I’ve read this site for the past 2.5 years and I’ve never posted. But now I felt I had to. I too had a horribly miserable baby with reflux who screamed and clawed and…you know the drill
I was a first time mom. Since then it seems all the mom friends I know who are having babies have had “easy babies” and it’s amazing to me…and makes me a tad jealous. The reality of it is there are unhappy reflux babies out there and moms who are doing their best to try to make it right and I just wanted to thank you for sharing this tough time with us. Even though it was over 2 years ago for me, it still stings a bit. So thanks for reminding me I was never alone!
heehee! CH for the win!
Oh Cute Husband. You’re a good one!
Did you hang up on him, laugh or cry?
I had to laugh. His delivery was perfect. I never saw it coming.
My mom ate only white rice and boiled chicken for three months while breast feeding me. She still believes that an “easy” baby is a complete and total myth. I just know this is going to come back to haunt me when I have my own…
I knew there was a reason you keep CH around….comic relief
Cute Husband is Win every time
Peeper’s never had a problem with me eating flavorful stuff (and now, at nearly 7 months old, *she* likes bbq sauce) but I’m pretty sure that I will be more likely to throw, “I went without cheese and chocolate for XX months for you!” at her waaaay more often than “I carried you for….” or “I was in labor for….” because it’s been the most painful of the three, but I would do it a hundred times over to make her feel better. Because that’s what we do.
What about the prenatal? Could it be the iron that is bothering her?
The hoops we will jump through for our babies, eh? It’s always worth it too.
The bane of my barfing exsistence were saltines. I barfed everyday, repeatedly, for all 41 plus weeks when I was pg with all three. Everybody told me to eat saltines, like they had some type of magical cure for settling my stomach. They never worked(I was desperate, and tried magical saltines many times) and frankly, they were not very nice the second time around.
During my third pregnancy, around 38 weeks, I was sobbing in the bathroom after barfing about wanting my body back, about the never ending laundry, the fact that I had wrote three different checks for the garbage man and could not find one. I am not a crier, and I think my H thought I had lost my mind. Much like yours, he got down on the bathroom floor and asked in the sweetest voice “Baby, do you want me to find you some saltines?”
Very much like you, a stream of curses and insults left my mouth. My H got up patted my head and said “I was worried, but you’re fine.” And I laughed, what else can you do?
It will get better, hang in there. Most mothers, whether they will admit it or not have kind of been there.
Oh, Liz…if I lived nearby, I would offer whatever help I could! I’d clean till your home sparkled and smelled heavenly.
Cute Husband is Awesome Husband. He knows you so well and loves you so much. What a blessing!
My first baby had horrible reflux. OMG…the puking, the writhing. My diet consisted of the most bland boring foods! But I did lose baby weight super fast *weak thumbs up* and eventually EVENTUALLY my little one’s tummy grew to appreciate real foods and her mama got to return to a normal human diet.
This isn’t forever. This is a fantastic sacrifice you are making for your precious Eden. She won’t be nursing forever (thank God!) but until she stops, just try taking it one day at a time with the big picture in mind. Infant months fly by even when you feel like it is puttering along.
Happy belated birthday to you!
I read your post and felt the overwhelming , spinning place where you are. I have trudged through the laundry, looked out ove a sea of toys and bills and towels to catch all the vomit strewn all over the house. It WILL get better. I’ve read your blog and own your book , my teenage son (oldest of my 4) , was colicy, allergic, asthmatic, and opposed to sleep on principle. He is beautiful , athletic, loving, and shares my love of dry , witty humor. BTW he read your book and rolled on the floor with laughter. They grow;hold her close. Take a warm bath with her: good for tummy , good for soul!
If I lived close I would come do your laundry and dishes, and make that all important run to the store. It’s what moms do, it’s why we can keep going.
Hang in ther and keep posting, so many are laughing with you and praying for you.
Liz, when my daughter was a newborn and I was overwhlemed and stressed I read a book that saved my sanity…..yours! I wish there was something I could do for you now to give you a boost. Hang in there. The sacrifice is, indeed, worth it but it is also “friggin’” tough! You will make it through and your beautiful family (and eventually a full night’s sleep) will be your heavenly reward!
Hah! Good one CH.
One day I’ll tell you the story of my sending the mortgage check to the cable company. Which they cashed and didn’t want to refund. And of course we didn’t have the dough to send the mortgage company a check, and …. wait, I said I’d tell you later. It’ll all work out. Really.
SO I heard you on the no fruit, but if/when that part of elimination diet gets a review:
dried, unsweetened, unsulfured mango (Just Mango) from Trader Joe’s (or anywhere, really). Yay flavor!
Got me through a lot of the no-chocolate, no-peanut butter, no-coffee, no-dairy, no no no no no! diet I tried for the Goobs’ cholic.
And it breaks down to really easily digestible sugars in the b-milk, for most mamas.
Hang in there.
Also, you should really move that double-pay to the “fiscally responsible” clumn, since all those credit advisors suggest that paying off your debt quicker is a GOOD thing.
Everyone who says you’ll forget the miserable parts is lying; I still remember the first six months of sleepless, constant screaming. I always hated it when people told me “It’ll get better” because it was so hard to think about waiting that long, and I know you already know that anyway. What I will say is that you are one freaking bad-ass, hard-core mama and even if Eden can’t communicate her deep thanks and admiration for all you’re going through for her, the rest of us will. The way you love your babies is amazing.
You astound me, Liz. I mean, sure, plain protein, white rice, months at a time, blah blah blah. I could do that. But give up COFFEE?!? Sweet Mary Jane I would never survive that.
Deep breaths! In and out and in and out. That’s the only way to do it.
I second the “I wish I lived closer” because I like to do laundry *ducks* so I would totally come take care of that for you.
If I could, I would fly up there and do your laundry for you. And clean your house too. (Because I’d rather clean any house other than my own.)
In light of the fact that I am all the way down here in BFE, Mississippi and cannot come up there, I am going to pray like crazy that all of this just STOPS and your life can revert to the closest form of normal possible.
I love you guys!
My reflux boy did the projectile vomit for three months. There were many days where everything he ate was later emitted exorcist style. Everything being breastmilk.
I never had the self-control to change my diet. Apparently I have an addiction to dairy. So you must be a very strong women to be able to change your diet like you have, or maybe I’m just very, very weak. The doctor was never too concerned that he was losing all his meals, because somehow he was still gaining weight. Air can be fattening for some.
One thing I did realize while I was bathed in puke was that he was overeating which was not helping his reflux. I found it helped to give him smaller meals more often–one boob meal versus two– because he was trying to make a pig of himself most of the time and aggravating his reflux at the same time.
Ok, so I’m usually not THAT person leaving advice so I apologize in advance. But, I’ve been where you are and it is a dark and scary place filled with vomit and despair. And if the bloodwork is off, maybe this won’t help, but I sense you might be willing to try anything at this point.
My second (and first) had reflux and, like E, barfed every feeding up. If the vomit is happening fairly soon after the feedings, you could have overactive letdown along with the reflux….meaning your milk is flowing too fast into her tummy and the tummy is really pissed off. My second had this and it sucked. The way to fix it is to nurse lying down, but not on your side…..you lie on your back with the boobs pointing up (knees pointing up, too) and put her crossways across your body. I’m sure there is a site out there who can explain it in waaaaay more detail and more eloquently than me, perhaps with pictures. Google it. The point is to try and make the baby work against gravity to suck the milk out, not with the boobs down so the milk flows out too fast. This wasn’t a panacea for me but it helped.
[I had overactive letdown as well. While my 2 kids gained wt like futurelinebackers, I have one very very very spitty-uppy baby. I fed him like Stacey said, basically like drinking from a straw - but parallel to my body. I reclined in a recliner to feed and that helped and maybe one feed a day I didn't have my nursing bra filled with spit up.]
Glad CH can still tap into you, even with all that is going on. I hope the next Dr. appmts reveal remarkable wt gains so you can all breathe a sigh of relief.
Don’t eat cheerios. They contain trisodium phosphate.This is a huge ingredient in cleaning poducts. Very bad for you and babies health.
I heart CH.
If you ever need to send him away (not that you ever would of course), send him North. I could a dose of his timing and humour sometimes.
Annie, I don’t think this is the time to tell the woman not to eat Cheerios which appears to be one of the 7 varieties of food left to her at the moment.
Just wondering how you are faring now Liz. I have been reading some of the comments and so far they totally reinforce your theory that “Motherhood is not for Wimps.”
Best to you and your wee E.
jx
OMG! I hope you post the recipe for that sweet potato gnocchi dish! That sounds delish!
Hi-been reading for ages now! First post though.
I had a colic-y daughter. I remember the food elimination,. Never helped much though.
But while laying my boy down for a nap, I wondered out of the blue if there could be a gluten sensitivity? I’m not sure how young one can begin symptoms but its something to explore.
IF thats the case there is a blog called Gluten Free Girl that has wonderful stories and recipes.
My daughters’ colic stopped at 4 months as if someone flipped a switch. We stopped pacing the floors, greeting dawns and watching crap tv.
Just keep keepin on! You’re doing a great job and CH sounds like a great one to have in your corner.
Just checking in on you and the wee one… hope you guys are hanging in and things are improving.