Eden’s lack of weight gain and her bililrubin levels have us seeing a pediatrician every day. It’s the holiday weekend and our doc is not on call. I’m sleep deprived, swimming in mother’s-milk tea (blech!) and generally irritated at the world. So it’s not a good time to be meeting new people.
Much less new people who want to be stern with me.
It’s not that I don’t take bilirubin and lack of weight gain seriously. It’s that this is my third kid doing exactly what the other two have done. I know it’s alarming — it has alarmed three very fine pediatricians before this one. It no longer alarms me.
The pediatrician has asked us to give formula. We tried, she didn’t like it, and we have decided not to push it further than that. At some point, you just have to make the call you’re going to make, and sometimes that means accepting that professionals you respect think you’re wrong.
So this pediatrician — who has really hung in there with us this weekend — is not happy that I have not pursued formula, and is a little dubious that I am taking him seriously about anything else. He asks me a rapid-fire series of questions, the net of which is that he is skeptical that she is nursing as often as I say she is, that I really did give formula an honest try, that I have kept that blanket on her religiously. (That last I resent a little. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this kid, and I’ve been up most of the night making sure that blanket stays where it’s supposed to. Anywho.)
His last question, “How’s she pooping?”
“Great!” I say. No! REALLY! She is pooping nicely, I SWEAR TO GOD!
At that precise moment Delicate Flower lets out the largest, juiciest poop sound you ever heard in your life. Seriously. It was spectacular, it was squishy, it shook the room.
I am trying hard not to laugh. But I have a hard time not laughing when I think something is funny, and that was freaking hilarious. I also have recently had all of my stomach muscles severed. So despite myself I am producing this horrible snortling sound that is a combination of suppressed laughter and cries of pain.
“Is something wrong?” he asks me.
Apparently, he does not share my sense of humor. I think I will not be giving him an autographed copy of my book as a thank you.
Maybe if you did give him your book, he’d understand a little better. Way to go Liz. Doctors are great for helping moms be the best they can be. But sometimes I think they get a little carried away with their own egos.
Hilarious!!
What was Schmoopy’s height and weight when she was born? She looks like a very healthy and sweet baby. I love your blog – thanks for keeping me entertained and also relieved that I’m not the only one having less-than-perfect mom days!
Don’t bother giving Doctors, or teachers, or daycare professionals books to read in order to understand your child better They will smile nicely and when you leave shove them under the wiggly leg on their plant table. I know I have a whole bunch of books with plant table leg indentations on them.
Way to be, Eden! Your mama deserves the – um – help.
How could anyone not think that was hilarious? Baby poop noises are just funny. There’s no getting around it.
She is so one of your girls! Smart enough to tell the doctor whats what at a few days old. Totally hilarious, I would not have been able to stop laughing.
THAT. Is all kinds of awesome. And I know the trying not to laugh but being unsuccessful and it hurting. The doctors and nurses are paid to worry about these things and they are trained to CYA for everything. There is much to be said for mommy wisdom. You know what feels right.
LOVE IT!!!!!!!! She’s just tellin’ it like it is.
LOL! That’s fantastic.
And now you have me curious: all three of your girls had the same issues with lack of weight gain and bilirubin? Did Mary and Ren take formula more readily? Or did they all pull out with just nursing? Or some other measure? These aren’t conditions I know anything about, and can’t help but wonder how to fix them…
And thanks for posting, even though we all know you’d much rather be playing Stare at the Baby. =)
All three of my girls had large birthweights — in the 80th percentile. All three lost weight very rapidly, going past the ten percent weight loss that is expected in the hospital. I was asked to give formula to Mare and then Ren and I declined both times. Both girls ended up in the 12th-or-so percentile and stayed there to this day. (Ren’s actually in the third — she weighs 28 pounds at the age of 3).
So I was ready when Eden did the same thing. But she lost more than the other two had, and also got the billirubin. I am not bothered by it because it’s just what my kids do. But I am not a doctor and I do try to respect and compromise with our doctors. They firmly asked me to give her formula. I made an effort, but when she didn’t like it I wasn’t going to push.
I want to be really clear that I don’t object to formula on principle, and I think moms who choose formula for their kids have nothing to apologize for. But for me, I have chosen nursing and a bottle is a slippery slope. If you give a bottle, you start down the path of walking away from nursing and I’m not going to do that. I do have supply problems and the solution as I see it is to nurse constantly as long as it takes until I have the milk and she’s stable.
Schmoopy is gaining again and her bilirubin is coming down, so I expect this is the end of it.
i love drs, except during those first few weeks. my first took 6 weeks to hit birth weight, and my ped never pushed formula. she had me do this little test for a few days to measure her intake of formula and my pumping, (during week 4.5 and 5) that is when she told me to get reglan, got it, she gained weight. my second daughter’s ped wanted formula at the first week visit. baby did not want it, so i went to get more milk plus formula–she gained 9 oz in 1 day. we did daily weight checks with both, the first for 6 weeks, the second just for 1.5 weeks, then she gained so much weight i had to get all new sized diapers. good luck, get rest, hope you don’t need to find a new ped, because i am sure you like yours. and tell that sweet one thanks for pooping and standing up for mommy. one of the only times you will thank her for pooping i’m sure. (unless you end up like a good friend whose 4 year old swallowed her engagement ring–she was really thankful for the next several poops
My two boys both lost over 10% and had jaundice for a week after they were born. They hated formula too.
I just have to say she is so cute and definitely one of yours! She set the doctor straight, LOL!
Try fenagreek for increase milk. As a mother of five, I had the same suggestions and problem when my kids had the jaundice. We started out with the blanket and eventually went to the bili-bed – which was just a three sided blanket and the dr’s had us come in every day to have the levels checked. Several of my children were born in Midwestern winter and I had a hard time justifying taking them out in the cold sometimes twice a day to be checked. With my younger two, their dr suggestion formula – same experience – hard time w/milk production as it was, they were not a fan. We always seem to peek around 18 or 19- which was there cut off line for going back to the hospital which we managed to avoid – stick with your gut. Having gone through it twice – you will know if Eden is having a hard time or if something is off. I remember being questioned about how often nursing and how long on the blanket – even kept a journal of times and length of time. Jaundice is a serious thing if you let it go, but your not and your personal experience with this as a mother is more valuable than an md certificate. Enjoy that baby.
Thanks for answering! For the record, I read the breastfeeding post, I didn’t think you had formula issues. =) I was just curious-individual baby issues sort of fascinate me a little. People-and science-type people, esp., like drs.-like to be able to generalize about folks. It’s comforting to our little monkey-brains if we feel like pushing all the right levers in the right order will get us a specific result. Usually, it’s pretty successful, but individual variations bite us in the bum A LOT. I’m always interested in individual bodies and make-ups and reactions.
Thanks again!
Too funny. Congratulations on little Eden’s arrival. I’m late here but very excited for you guys! I love the Stare at the baby game.
The medical system focuses on numbers, days, ounces, bili-counts. Mothers have to rely on numbers, wisdom and instinct.
Isn’t she only a week old now? Friends who have had c-sections haven’t even had their milk come in until the 7th day. (Colostrum is better for jaundice, I have heard, so maybe that doesn’t matter)
My third baby was big at birth, but very slow to gain weight. It seems she was meant to slim (and fast) despite drinking just as much milk as her porkier siblings.
Having her hang out at the breast even when asleep- licking, nuzzling even if she doesn’t want to suck – will help with supply.
Good luck!
Hurray for you, Liz! What a serene and confident role model of a mother you are!! (As for that autographed copy of the book, if I’m a really, really good girl, maybe I can get one someday?)
Maybe you could read and review this new title! http://www.makingmoremilk.com/
I, too, have three girls all who had jaundice issues that required us to pack up a newborn baby and a tired, swollen, cranky mother, (I’m feelin you.), every single morning to go visit the pediatrician. I breast fed only and yes, I was told that we would have to add some formula to the mix. My first daughter was having enough trouble as it was, figuring out the nursing thing, and being a new mother, I was frustrated to the point of bursting into tears at the doctor’s edict of formula feeding. It didn’t sway the doctor. In fact, I think it made him scurry faster out of the examining room. He had an older, very kind nurse who put her arms around me and told me to put the baby in filtered sunlight and her jaundice would disappear faster than any formula ever could make it happen. We went home, moved her crib against the window, took a few sunshiny walks and wouldn’t you know it….the next day, her levels had dropped significantly. By the day after, we didn’t have to come back. By the second and third daughter, I knew what to do and our jaundice never hung on for more than a day or two. Seems like Western medicine doesn’t know everything. Good Luck. My girls are 18, 15, and 11, jaundice-free,(lol), smart cookies, with no lasting effects. Congratulations, on your precious baby.
Does your pediatrician have kids? My husband is a family practice doc, and he firmly believes he became a much better kid-doctor when he had his own. Doesn’t feel the need to follow the book so much, trusts the parents, and can even say, “Mine did the same thing.”
We had a similar issue but with height. Between ages 1 and 2, both boys fell off their growth curve (which isn’t bad if you’re in the 50th percentile but makes doctors quake if you start in the 3rd!). I’m 5′3″, my husband is 5′5″ on a good day, so none of this should be a surprise. By the 2nd, I ignored all the worry and just kept on keeping on. Also, we found a pediatrician who is also small and has a short husband and completely understands. Boys are 8 (5th percentile) and 4 (10th percentile – huge to us) and doing great. Shmoopy will too, as you well know. And she’s SO CUTE!!!
I can definitely feel your pain, as I have a tiny, bili-blanket-covered baby on my chest as I type this. We’ve had to pack up and go get her levels checked every day for the past 9 (she’s 11 days old, and days 1 and 2 were spent in the hospital). I’ve also been experiencing the problems with the dr. not seeming to believe me. About the blanket (only comes off for those daily dr. trips), how often she eats (at least 10 times a day), how often she soils her diaper, etc. We also had the formula suggestion, and while I will likely supplement breastfeeding with formula when she’s a little older, we’re having enough trouble with milk production and latching on for me to want to risk trying formula. Especially as she was only 4 days old when the dr. suggested it. I thought it was just because this is my first, but apparenltly it’s just a dr. thing. Today’s visit was better, as her bili level dropped 2 full points over the weekend, with the bili-blanket and as much time as possible spent near a window. Anyway, congrats on your beautiful new baby!
The poop thing is easy fixed. Next time he asks about it, pull out the plastic bag where you have carefully storied every shitty nappy Eden has produced, and proceed to peg them at his head if he looks like not believing you.
I’m on your side, too. What can a doctor know compared to a mom who has two already and had been carrying #3 for 9-10 months now?
LOL at the noisy announcment that Schmoopy is very heathy,thank you very much.
You and your daughters ( and Cute Husband) rock!
Margaret
Just want to add another vote of support. Not only do I think Moms have good instincts for this kind of thing, I happen to feel the same way about the slippery slope.
(This is why midwives can be great, by the way; lots of people have old-fashioned preconceptions about them (e.g. not science-based, hippy chicks) but they tend to give mom & baby a lot more time to work out the feeding thing.)
Good for you for giving it your best shot, especially at a time when patience can be obliterated by lack of sleep!
Jaundice. Been there twice. So bad they both ended up back in the hospital a couple days after coming home. The best thing to get rid of jaundice, so I was told, was to get the baby to poop it out. Sounds like Eden’s got that down pat!
a similar thing happened to us with the weight loss & bili levels. the pedis at the hospital weren’t terribly impressed with us, but our SUPER AWESOME DOCTOR (who might not be too far from you if you’re interested – she’s in wellesley) was really chill about it. even different awesome professionals will disagree on what to do, but you clearly know what’s going on and i think you’re handling it just fine.
formula doesn’t cure jaundice. being well-fed whether it’s formula or breastmilk and making lots of poop is what helps with jaundice. that and sunlight. and you’ve got the bili-blanket. so… i don’t really see what the formula would even DO for eden besides just replace breastmilk, if she’s already getting enough to eat and pooping like a champ. my understanding was that formula is only useful for jaundice if the baby isn’t taking in breastmilk and thus not processing/pooping out all the bilirubin.
anyway, for what it’s worth, it sure seems like you’re doing just fine by your kids. in fact, i think that reading your blog helps me doing a better job with MY kid. so thanks. =) mail that pedi eden’s next poopy diaper and fahgeddaboudit.
My babies did the same thing! And both times I was reduced to tears by the corpsmen/nurses that weighed them. The nurse we saw with my youngest is forever dubbed ‘Nurse Ratched.”
You know this, but I’m going to tell you anyway: You’re a helluva Mama. And I’m so glad Eden’s already got so much figured out.
I laughed.
Sounds like the story of both my kiddos. I’ll add for the kazillith time Fenugreek. I think I was taking like 6 capsules per day at first to build bulk supply. Nothing like smelling like maple syrup.
Keep up the good work Momma!!
Oh, I’m OLD, Ms Elizabeth. I was a jaundice baby and they had me under the blue lights, I’m told, for at least a few days. I wonder now if/how they protected our infant eyes from the special lighting, or if it was necessary to do so.
Sunlight and pooping out jaundice? I’d believe an experienced maternity nurse over a young doctor any day of the week:)
Well done Eden ! And you too Liz. I only wish all moms could stick to their guns when they know better than the doctor. But most often, it seems like you’re expected to leave your brain in the waiting room with the stroller…
I’m sure you’re doing the appropriate thing for Eden, Elizabeth. But I am kind of wondering at the anti-doctor sentiment coming out here, especially as you’ve said before you have no problem with formula when needed. I mean, folks,what do you want a doctor to do—say nothing? They have to give you their opinions; that’s what are there for. (And no, I’m not a doctor, or nurse, or anything medical–just someone trying to see the other side.)
Anyway–enojy your beautiful Schmoopy (Schmoopy? Why? Now I have “Hang on Sloopy” in my head everytime I read the blog!)
hey– wanted to say that i LOVE your blog and that you are one fabulous mom!
one thing that really helped my milk supply was an herbal tincture called “more milk plus” made by mother love herbals. it’s a combination of fenugreek and a few other things like blessed thistle. it tastes like crap but really does the job… and since you are a pro at this boost-the-supply thing, you probably already know the list of foods than can help with supply– avocado, oatmeal, miso soup, etc. acupuncture also does wonders, but it’s kinda hard to have it when you have a tiny one and other little ones to take care of!
nursing is NO easy task, especially in those early days, so rock on and on and ON…
and congratulations– eden is so beautiful.