I want to tell you a story about a woman named Stephanie.
She is one of nine siblings, a proud Mormon family in Provo, Utah — the descendants of pioneers.
In 2000 she married Christian Nielson. That officially made her “StephaNIE NIElson” — so everyone called her “Nie Nie.”
They struck out as young couples do, leaving Provo for New Jersey, and then Arizona, making homes and having babies. Somewhere along the line, she started blogging about it at the Nie Nie Dialogues.
She writes about the beauty of life — her time with her children; her creativity; her extended family. She calls her husband “Mr. Nielson” and sometimes she blogs love letters to him.
Going through her archives, it is hard not to notice how beautiful she is. Luminescent.
Most of her posts are, in some way or other, about beauty. She chooses to share, focus on, put out into the world, the things she likes best about her life.
In this post , from last August, she planned a back-to-school party for her kids. She set the table with antique linens, decorated with baby roses and organza, made chocolate cake and crowns for the girls.
Many of Nie’s posts are about doing things with her family. Her husband’s family has a ranch, and she writes about going out there, and about getting her kids into the outdoors. For Mr. Nielson’s birthday, she got him flying lessons and was fearless about taking the kids up on a flight right after he was licensed.
On August 14 of this year, she wrote,
“Speaking of flying, my last visit to the ranch, I went to the village’s gas station. Inside the station they have a little section of leather goods. Needless to say, I feel in love with some awesome moccasins. These leather lovers were a thing of beauty. Mr. Nielson promised me he would fly me back to Bluewater retrieve them. Thinking of getting another pair for a giveaway-”
Two days later Nie Nie and Mr. Nieson and flight instructor Doug Kinneard were taking off from an eastern Arizona airstrip when the engine stalled. The plane crashed. Doug Kinneard was killed. Mr. Nielson suffered burns over 30% of his body. Nie Nie fared worse — burns over 80% of her body. She was in a medically-induced coma for three months.
Their four children are living with their aunts in Provo. Sister Courtney Jane (“C-Jane”) has taken in three of the four. She’s a blogger, too. Her posts about this crisis in her family are admirably unsentimental. She tells us that Nie Nie sleeps, that Mr. Nielson suffers, that the family prays and has faith. Her boundaries are clear: we’re never taken inside the hospital room. We don’t know much except that Stephanie is taking skin grafts, that her nose and ears are being reconstructed, that they’re all in for a very long haul.
Courtney stays away from the maudlin, and only briefly addresses the significant physical changes facing Stephanie. Courtney writes:
“We’ve teased Steph since childhood about her creative hobby of the self-portrait. Many times in these past few months I’ve quietly thanked Steph for being so gratuitous in taking these photos. I like to experience her energy through film. I am grateful for what art can help us feel and remember. I repent of the teasings (only a little).
Besides, what is so wrong about a girl who likes how she looks? … beauty is too fleeting not to enjoy while it graces. To be enchanted with yourself? Brilliant.
It is difficult at times wondering what the future will look like for this self-portrait artist. Something inside of my soul tells me that these stacks of pictures will have a role to play in her healing.”
Courtney is the hero of this story. After years of infertility she gave birth to her first child last May. Three months later she is managing life as a new mother … to her own baby and three displaced kids ages 4,5, and 6. She takes care of them, she posts, she manages fundraisers to help support her sister and brother-in-law in what promises to be milions of dollars of rehabilitation and continued medical care.
In news interviews, Courtney says that she believes that everything happens for a reason — that her infertility allowed her to be ready, and grateful, for a houseful of children in a time of crisis. She writes of her love for her husband, who has taken these children on as his own.
I have become quite engaged in their story, feel an affinity for these two writer-mothers who share with the world the best of what they see in it.
Nie Nie and her family did a session with photographer Wendy Whitacre last July.
“When I look at these pictures I feel so happy-
(Wendy) really captured how I feel each day with my life, kids, and husband.” July 22, 2008
A snapshot. A moment in time. A woman who knows what she has.
Life is changing every day, only most days we don’t notice.
I wonder what life holds for the woman who lives, sees, exudes beauty. I pray for her, I admire her courage and her passion, and her determination to live life with all its risks and banalities. I love that she took those kids on a hot summer flight with their pilot Daddy, I love that she rode with her husband anywhere he wanted to go. Where they have gone is unexpected, but there is beauty there, too.
It is the end of one story of her life, and the beginning of another.
I encourage you to follow the links, to meet these sisters and their families, to offer what you can to their efforts.
To see the beauty of your own life, and share it wherever you can.
